


Uhh

by yeaka



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Ficlet, M/M, Silly, WTF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 13:33:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13591104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeaka/pseuds/yeaka
Summary: The boys wake up with collective amnesia. They take it pretty well.





	Uhh

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Fill for anon’s “Noctis, Prompto, Ignis, and Gladio all magically forget who they are and each other. They have to piece together their identities and figure out why they can’t remember anything. +Everyone making lots of stereotypical assumptions about each other. +Weird guesses about why they were all asleep in a tent together. +Someone accidentally summons a weapon/Noct accidentally warps and everyone freaks out. +It’s probably Ardyn’s fault.” prompt on [the FFXV kinkmeme](https://ffxv-kinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/4398.html?thread=8829486#cmt8829486).
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Final Fantasy XV or any of its contents, and I’m not making any money off this.

He groans his way to consciousness, slowly coming to. He has the distinct impression that he usually _lives_ for sleep, but there’s something _wrong_ about this, and he squints his eyes open against the light.

The light, bright and yellow, is muffled through orange-brown fabric. Noctis stares up at it. He doesn’t think ceilings are supposed to look like that. Or be so slanted. He pushes up on his elbows, scrunching back the sleeping bag around his waist, and peers up until he realizes—oh, he’s in a tent.

He has no idea _why_ he’s in a tent. He doesn’t remember anything. The only thing he knows is his own name, and even that’s foggy—maybe it’s not _Noctis_ —maybe it’s just _Noct_? His mind can conjure the faint remnant of another voice whispering that in his ear—a masculine, but sleep-addled, fond purr of a voice. Noctis lifts his hand just to stare at it. Pale skin, not too many wrinkles. Blunt nails. It doesn’t help him at all.

Someone mutters, “What the...?” beside him, and Noctis glances sharply over.

There’s a young man poking out of the sleeping bag next to him. It’s a lithe, lovely blond, not much bigger than Noctis, that quickly sits up too, blue eyes opened wide. The man has a shock of well-styled, bright blond hair, and a smattering of subtle freckles across the bridge of his nose. His pink lips are parted, expression full of just as much surprise as Noctis feels. 

Noctis stares blankly back at him and tries not to blush. All he can think is: he was sleeping next to _that_? _Damn_. Go him.

The blond just stares right back, turning faintly pink across his soft cheeks, then splutters, “Who’re you?”

“Who’re _you_?” He couldn’t answer if he wanted to. The blond just shrugs helplessly. His expression is so adorably genuine that Noctis is sure they’re in the same boat. 

The front of the tent parts, and Noctis tenses, attention darting over. The makeshift door’s pulled open, and out of nowhere, a big beefcake crawls right in. Noctis can hear the blond’s breath hitching, and Noctis fully understands the sentiment. The beefcake settles just inside the tent, eyeing them warily, all chiseled muscles and a striking tattoo sprawled across one shoulder and sleeve, disappearing into an open shirt. Noctis can even see every hard line of his abs and tries not to stare.

“Well, look who’s awake,” the beefcake grunts, piercing gaze boring into Noctis, then blondie. His dark hair is thrown back, somewhat shaved down on the sides, which gives him an even tougher look, but his stance isn’t threatening. If anything, Noctis instantly gets the ‘big muscles, bigger heart’ impression from the way the man keeps a respectful distance—as much as he can in the small space—and perches so casually before them. “Now, would you kindly explain what’s going on here?”

Neither Noctis nor blondie answers. Before they get the chance to try, the flap opens again, and a fourth man slips inside—trim and tall, impeccably dressed right down to stylish gloves. He takes a seat next to the beefcake, posture perfect, upswept hair meticulously combed. While the beefcake’s ruggedly handsome and blondie’s cutely hot, the beanpole’s aristocratically beautiful. Noctis stares at him for a few extra seconds, and then beanpole pushes his thin glasses up his nose and asks, “Have either of you retained your memory?”

Noctis shakes his head. Beside him, blondie chirps, “Nuh-uh.”

“I see. And I suppose you woke up in this tent without the slightest idea of who you are or why you’re out here?”

Noctis nods. Blondie provides, “Yep.”

Beanpole sighs and says what Noctis already suspected: “The same as us, then. Please, forgive us for not waking you sooner, but we figured that if you were in the same situation, it would be best if we had answers to provide when you did come to. Unfortunately, Gladiolus and I have already done a peripheral sweep of the area in the hope of clues, but as far as we can tell, we’re in the middle of nowhere with no such explanation in sight.”

“Great,” Noctis mutters dryly, glancing over at beefcake, who must be ‘Gladiolus.’ 

Like reading his mind, beanpole provides: “This, by the way, is Gladiolus. My name is Ignis—and that’s about all I can tell you of myself, unfortunately.”

Noctis nods and grunts, “Noctis.” Ignis nods acknowledgement.

“Prompto,” Blondie joins. “Nice to meet you, Iggy. Noct. Gladdy. Or... is that too soft?—Gladio, I guess?”

“Or Gladiolus,” Gladiolus snorts, but he doesn’t look too put off by the nickname. Neither does Ignis, and Noctis isn’t bothered either. If anything, the way the pseudo-petname rolls off the blond’s tongue just feels _right_. As far as mystery mornings go, this one’s not so bad. But then, he’d probably be freaking out a lot more if the circumstances were exactly the same, but the three men he woke up with were ugly assholes instead of total hotties that don’t seem bothered with him either.

When he looks at that objectively, he knows how ridiculous it is. There’s no good reason to feel even remotely comfortable in this situation, thrown in with three strangers. But something about them...

“So,” Gladiolus mutters, looking at each of them in turn, “nobody has _any_ idea why four dudes were out in the woods together?”

“Camping,” Noctis answers, like it’s obvious, even though it’s probably weird for four grown men to share one tent.

“So... you both woke up in the tent, too?” Prompto tries. “Like, in sleeping bags? So, we were all sleeping... together?”

Frowning, Gladiolus says, “Seems like it.” 

Prompto whistles. Ignis lifts a brow at him, and Prompto awkward laughs, “Hey, no offense... it’s just, you all look picture-perfect. Like, models or something.”

Noctis’ cheeks are heating again—he can feel it. The more he looks at the blond next to him, and the more he sees the way Prompto clumsily steals looks at him, the more he starts to wonder if maybe they were _dating_. It would sort of make sense, right? Two boyfriends on a camping trip? With... two more boyfriends along? Instead of admitting that embarrassing guess aloud, he just says, “Thanks.”

Gladio counters, “Somehow, I don’t think four models were off, alone in a tent in the middle of nowhere.”

“Yeah,” Prompto concedes, before donning a little grin and adding, “Hey, thanks for including me in the model club.” Gladiolus grins.

However unlikely, the idea does draw Noctis’ eye to their clothes. He’s just wearing a t-shirt, and when he checks under the sleeping bag’s lip, baggy pants. Prompto’s about the same, but with a wristband and fingerless gloves, and a sort of punk-looking black vest. Gladiolus’ open shirt makes him look like he belongs in a strip club, but maybe that’s just because of how hot his body is under it. Ignis is in a long-sleeved button up and jacket, which causes Noctis to note, “Ignis looks more... I don’t know, formally dressed? Maybe he’s like... our boss, or something.”

Gladiolus looks skeptical, but Prompto jumps on board. “Yeah... and then Gladio’s, like, his body guard? But then... what are we...?”

“Perhaps we’re related,” Ignis suggests.

Only for Gladiolus to decide, “Noctis, maybe, but there’s no way blondie is. Maybe they’re your boytoys, and you’re some rich businessmen who snuck off for a weekend away from the wife.”

Ignis doesn’t look too pleased by the prospect, and he removes his left glove to pointedly show the absence of a ring. Of course, he could’ve taken it off before he lost his memory. Still, Noctis snorts, “No way.”

“And if I were rich,” Ignis points out, “Surely, I would’ve at least brought a camper, if not shelled out for a luxury hotel.”

Gladiolus shrugs. “Maybe you get off on making them huddle for warmth.”

While Noctis is blushing deeper at the prospect and Ignis covers his face to probably do the same, Prompto says, “Or maybe you’re the main guy. Like... our daddy or something.”

“ _Daddy_?” Noctis repeats, eyeing Prompto heavily, who’s at least blushing as much as he is. 

“Y’know. Like... a _daddy_. C’mon, one big buff guy and three little guys? He’s obviously in charge.” Ignis isn’t exactly _little_ , but he is thin. Still...

Gladiolus actually grins. “I could get behind that.”

But Ignis shakes his head and sighs, “Idle speculations will gets us nowhere. Clearly, we must investigate the situation more thoroughly. ...As it seems we have four capable young men, we should at least have a decent shot at solving this mystery.”

Noctis nods, and Prompto jokes, “Yeah, I’m glad I didn’t wake up with a bunch of creeps, at least.” 

Somehow, Noctis winds up blurting, “Technically, you don’t know we’re _not_ creeps.” Because he doesn’t know that about any of them either.

But Prompto just laughs and elbows him in the side like they’ve been friends for life. “Yeah, nice try, but I’m not scared of you, bud. Now, if the big guy said that...”

Gladiolus wryly grins and offers, “Hey, I promise not to use these guns against you.” He flexes both biceps at once as though to emphasize his point, and Noctis mouth feels suddenly dry.

Ignis coolly quips, “Well, if you have guns, perhaps you were a hunter.” The three of them look at him, and it takes Noctis a second to realize that that must’ve been a wordplay joke. Ignis clears his throat and continues, “Actually, I think those ‘guns’ might come in handy—we have no way of knowing how safe our location is; I seem to have retained a certain wariness of the woods. Perhaps it would be best if you secured the perimeter, while the three of us search the tent.”

Gladiolus amicably grunts, “Sure,” and turns to step right out of the tent.

Noctis waits a second before deciding he wants to stretch his legs, and that Gladiolus’ job sounds more fun than the one inside. He announces, “I’ll help,” and leans towards the tent flap.

Then, in a flash of blue-white light, he’s standing _outside_ of it. He stumbles to a halt, swept up with sudden momentum. When he looks back, Ignis and Prompto are scrambling out and gaping at him. Gladiolus, a couple steps ahead, is looking at him with just as much shock. None of them offers any explanation. Noctis is... stunned.

After a few seconds of tense silence, Prompto says, voice vaguely awe-struck, “I take it back— _you’re_ the leader!”

Noctis splutters, “I have no idea how I did that—”

“Do you think we can all do that?” Prompto interrupts, suddenly excited.

Gladiolus tells him, “Do it again.”

Noctis doesn’t know _how_. He looks at Ignis, because Ignis seems like the smart one, and not just because he’s got the suave glasses. 

Before Ignis can offer input, the sound of a car engine draws their attention. They, indeed, seem to be alone in a wooded area, but around a mass of trees, a red car suddenly streaks into view, grinding right over the grass. Roofless, it zigzags over to them, pulling up barely an arm’s length from Gladiolus, who doesn’t so much as flinch. There’s a man in the driver’s seat, one that looks older than all of them, overly dressed in one too many layers and sporting a slew of uneven stubble and wild, wavy hair beneath an old-fashioned hat. When the man climbs out of the car, he ignores Gladiolus entirely.

He marches straight for Noctis, bending forward to coo, “Ah, my dear Noct! I’m so _glad_ to have found you!”

Gladiolus stiffens as the man brushes past him. Ignis and Prompto both come up to Noctis, Ignis taking a subtle step partially in front of him and Prompto stilling at his side. It’s a strange reaction from all of them, protective and oddly comforting. The man that approaches him, on the other hand, practically screams _creep_.

The man comes way too close, stopped only by Ignis’ proximity, which, conversely, Noctis doesn’t at all mind. Gladiolus follows swiftly behind, but the newcomer still has eyes only for Noctis. As the man grins almost predatorily at him, Noctis demands, “Who’re you?”

“Ah,” the man sighs, making a show of reeling back. “Oh, Noct, how you wound me! You truly don’t remember your beloved fiancé?”

Noctis practically chokes. He feels like his eyes are bulging out of his head, and he looks automatically back at Prompto, because if he was dating anyone, he was sure it would’ve been the cute blond. Beefcake and beanpole were easy seconds. But the shoddy looking stranger doesn’t engender any warmth in him _at all_. 

“Ardyn,” the man offers, as though his name will change everything. If anything, it just leaves a bizarrely sour taste in Noctis’ mouth. “But it’s alright, my prince. The important thing is that I’ve found you before these scoundrels could take advantage of your poor memory. Has it been acting up again? Don’t worry; I know just how to make you feel better...”

He reaches out, and Noctis instantly jerks away. He’s pretty sure he’s no one’s _prince_ , and the cutsey petname just makes him want to gag. He might not remember anything, but he still has his instincts, and he has to trust them. It’s all he has. So he means it when he scoffs, “There’s no way I was with you.” Ardyn opens his mouth, but Noct says over him, “Iggy, Gladio—whichever one of you is the leader, can you get rid of this guy?”

Then he grabs Prompto’s hand and warps him safely back into the tent, while the other two swoop in to protect them.


End file.
